The Ex
by xlalady
Summary: "Lotor?" "Yeah? How do you know Lotor?" "Lotor is your ex?" "Yes, Lotor is my ex," Keith snapped. "So what?" Lance turned to look at him. "Lotor is my ex." They stared at each other. "What?" Keith finally asked. — Lance and Keith run into an ex at their local coffee shop.
1. Chapter 1

"Oh, shit," Keith exclaimed, ducking his head down, trying to use his hair to cover his face.

"What? What's up?" Lance asked, looking around wildly.

Keith grabbed his arm and pulled him close so he would hold still. "Quit being so obvious, dumbass."

They were sitting at their prefered table in the back corner of the nearby coffee shop. It was late morning, so a majority of the early morning crowd was gone, but there was still a fair number of people milling around and filling the seats. They sat next to a large window overlooking the street, Keith facing the entrance.

Keith hesitantly peaked behind Lance back toward the entrance before ducking back and using Lance's body to hide himself. He groaned. "My ex just walked in."

"What? Where?" Lance exclaimed, immediately turning to look behind himself excitedly. "I've never met one of your ex's."

"Yeah, well I don't have many, but he is one of the few that I regret."

"Holy shit!" Lance whisper-shouted, turning and ducking down like Keith.

"What?"

"I just saw my ex, too."

Keith peaked an eye past Lance, examining the people at the counter.

"Which one is yours?" Lance asked.

Keith sighed, and they both turned to discreetly look at the counter when Keith pointed at a man waiting in line on his phone. "The tall pretentious asshat with the pompous white hair."

"_Lotor?"_

"Yeah? How do you know Lotor?"

"_Lotor_ is your _ex_?"

"_Yes,_ Lotor is my ex," Keith snapped. "So what?"

Lance turned to look at him. "Lotor is _my_ ex."

They stared at each other. "_What?"_ Keith finally asked.

"I dated Lotor. Lotor is my ex," Lance explained.

They stared at each other for a moment longer before snapping into action. Keith began gathering their things as Lance plotted an escape route. "We can't let him see us," Keith said, shoving books into their bags.

"Yeah, no shit," Lance replied, turning back to Keith. "There's only one way in and out and there's no way we get past without Lotor spotting us. Fuck this coffeeshop for not having a backdoor."

"Bathroom?"

"It's on the other side of the counter."

"Damnit." Keith looked around. "Oh shit."

"What?"

"He saw us."

"_What?"_ Lance exclaimed, eyes bugging.

"He saw us, he's coming this way, shit!" Keith cursed, pasting on an uncomfortable and clearly fake smile.

Lance had about three seconds to prepare before hearing Lotor's sickly sweet voice, "Keith," he greeted. "And Lance," he added, sounding surprised. "What a pleasant surprise."

Lance and Keith exchanged one last glance. "Hey, Lotor," Keith said with a grimace.

"Hey," Lance said, also with a grimace.

If Lotor could sense the awkwardness, he didn't show it. "So what are you two doing here? How do you know each other?" he asked, seeming completely interested.

Lance glanced at Keith, wondering how much to reveal. "We live nearby, we were studying together for exams."

"Oh," Lotor said, feigning nonchalance. "You live together?"

Lance coughed. "Yes, we're…" Keith hesitated, "...dating."

Lance and Keith both winced as Lotor predictably lit up. "_Really?_" he asked, disbelievingly. "I don't mean to sound offensive, but I wouldn't think you two would be...compatible."

Keith felt his eye twitch. "Well, don't worry. I assure you that we're quite compatible in _all_ aspects of our relationship."

Lotor simply smiled. "Is that so. I'm just surprised, two of my ex's end up dating each other. What are the chances?"

"What indeed," Lance mumbled.

"Lotor," a voice called from behind the counter as the barista set a cup on the pickup counter. Lance and Keith both sighed in relief internally as they saw it was a to-go cup.

"Well, that's me. I really must be off, but I suppose I'll see you two around?" he asked sweetly.

Lance and Keith both murmured some non-committal agreements and with that Lotor turned his back with a flip of his hair and was gone.

Both Keith and Lance slumped in their seats as the door closed behind him.

"I can't believe you dated Lotor," Keith said.

Lance groaned. "Look, it was sophomore year of college, I was stressed and homesick and he was nice and called me pretty. It wasn't my best moment."

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long did you date Lotor?"

Lance bit the inside of his cheek. "...5 months."

"_5 months?_" Keith exclaimed.

"Just shut up, okay! What about you? I can't believe _you_ dated Lotor!" Lance said, jabbing a finger at Keith, whose face was turning pink.

"Yeah, well, it was freshman year and we dated for like two months and then I realized what an asshole he is and that was it," he said defensively.

They both sighed and leaned back in their seats.

"You know we can't come here anymore, right?" Keith stated. "He knows we're here."

"Fuck. We'll have to find a new coffee shop."

* * *

Thanks for reading, reviews keep me alive :)


	2. Chapter 2

"Allura! Over here!" Lance called out, waving her over. He and Keith were currently sitting in their preferred spot of their newly chosen coffee shop. The coffee wasn't quite as good, but the pastries were better and their sofa in the back was comfier, so it was working out alright.

"Hey, sorry we're late, parking's a bitch," she said, sitting down across the table and setting her purse down.

"No problem. So where's the boyfriend?"

"Oh, he's trying to find parking. The old coffee shop had better parking nearby."

"Yeah, well-"

"There was no way we could stay there," Keith interrupted.

"Oh, believe me, I understand," Allura said, putting a hand to her heart. "Running into old ex's is the worst. And I still can't believe you had the _same_ ex."

"Believe me, neither can we," Lance responded. "We just have to hope he never branches out into other coffee shops."

"God, we didn't even ask how long he would be in town," Keith lamented.

"He said we might see each other around, so I'm guessing probably a while. Possibly permanently." Both Lance and Keith shivered at the thought. "When did he even come back? I was so thankful when I learned he had left a month after our breakup."

"Allura, you said your boyfriend moved here recently. Where's he from?" Keith asked.

"Oh, he came from-oh, there he is, he can tell you himself," she responded, turning towards the door to wave him over.

Keith and Lance both froze at the site Allura's new and familiar boyfriend. Now walking toward them with a surprised grin was Lotor.

"Oh no," Lance said.

"Not again," Keith said.

Lotor walked over and took a seat next to Allura, throwing an arm around her shoulders which she leaned into.

"Boys, we meet again. What a small world this is, isn't?"

Allura looked innocently between them. "Oh, you already know each other?" she asked happily.

"Indeed, my dear. I knew them when I lived here before and we recently became reacquainted a few weeks ago."

"Yeah, he's the one we were talking about," Lance said, shooting her a meaningful look, "you know…"

"Their ex," Lotor said happily.

Keith and Lance both flinched while Allura had a dawning look of horror in her eyes, but a smile was frozen on her face.

"Oh?" Allura just barely managed to force out.

"Yeah," Keith replied, cringing slightly.

The atmosphere of the table had quickly turned immensely awkward, evident to every person at the table except for Lotor, who carried on happily as if nothing was wrong.

"So, Keith. Lance. We never really had a chance to catch up last time met. How long have you been dating?"

"A little over a year," Lance replied without any of Lotor's enthusiasm.

"And you said you're both at university? What are you studying? Lance, you were going for a degree in physical sciences, right? I thought you would have graduated by now."

Lance's eye twitched a bit at the dig. "Yes, I'm going for my master's," he said tersely.

Lotor opened his mouth to say something else, but Allura cut him off. "Lotor, would you be a dear and get us some drinks? And maybe a muffin?" she asked.

Lotor smiled at her. "Of course."

As he got up to wait in line, Allura slumped forward on the table.

Keith and Lance exchanged a sympathetic look.

"You know you have to break up with him, right?" Lance asked cautiously.

"Yes, of course I bloody well know!" Allura snapped, looking up at them. Then she sighed. "I really liked him too. He's so charming."

"Yeah, douchebags like him often are," Keith agreed. "Lance, you need to fake an emergency."

"What, why?"

"Because Allura can't break up with him right here, right now, which means we all have to stay here and pretend everything's normal, but I don't think I can sit here and make small talk with Lotor for more than another ten minutes."

All three of them groaned at the thought.

"Fine," Lance said, taking out his phone. "I'll text Hunk to call me in a few minutes."

Lotor returned shortly, handing a cup and a muffin to Allura.

Five minutes and some awkward conversation later and Lance's phone began to ring and Lance tried to act surprised. "Oh, let me take this real quick."

He put the phone up to his ear. "Hey buddy, what's up?"

Keith had to give credit where credit was due, Lance did seem genuinely worried and upset over whatever fake emergency Hunk was telling him about.

After about 30 seconds, he put the phone down and spun toward Keith. "Keith, it's mi abuela. She's had a heart attack and my mom said it's really serious. We have to get to the hospital right away," Lance said urgently with just the slightest bit of panic. Keith almost believed him.

"Shit," he said, starting to gather their things. "Let's go. Allura, Lotor, sorry we can't stick around, maybe another day?" he asked as he and Lance stood up.

"Oh of course," Allura replied, putting the act on a bit too thickly. "Call me as soon as you can with news, I'm so sorry Lance."

Without another word they rushed toward the exit like Lance's grandma was really in the hospital. They hurried down the street and only stopped once they were a few blocks away.

They looked at each other and then burst out laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

Lance grabbed Keith's hand as they resumed their walk home.

"You know we're gonna have to find a new coffee shop again, right?"

"Fuck."

* * *

Note: Thanks for reading, reviews keep me alive :)

I was suddenly inspired to write this chapter. I might right another one, but who knows?


	3. Chapter 3

"What's got you so happy?" Keith asked. "Did you play with that stray cat again?"

Shiro had walked in the door a few minutes ago, home from the gym, and hadn't stopped smiling his small happy smile he got whenever something small happened that made his day.

"Nothing happened," Shiro said lightly as he washed out his water bottle in the sink. Keith eyed him suspiciously from where he was making his lunch on the opposite counter.

"Bullshit, something happened and that's why you're smiling like that."

Shiro sighted and turned to face Keith. "If you really must know…an attractive guy hit on me at the gym," he said, a light blush on his cheeks.

Keith smirked and raised an eyebrow. "More attractive than Adam?"

"Nobody's more attractive than Adam," Shiro replied without hesitation, and Keith rolled his eyes at the sappiness of it. "Look, sometimes, it's just…nice. It's flattering. To know that an attractive person also finds you attractive. I know _you_ hate being hit on, but some of us appreciate it sometimes." He paused before continuing. "Besides, he was really hot. And nice."

"Should I tell Adam he has some competition?" Keith teased.

"There's no competition, alright?" Shiro said defensively. "A hot guy hit on me and I politely refused, saying I am very happily committed to someone else, and we parted ways very amicably."

"I'm only teasing. I'm well aware there's nobody out there that could pry your heart away from Adam. Besides, Adam would never let that happen." Shiro smiled a small dopey grin at that and Keith rolled his eyes again. "So, what did he look like?"

"Huh?"

"They guy who hit on you? What did he look like? I know you want to tell me."

Shiro hesitated a few seconds before speaking, clearly wanting to talk about the encounter now that it was in the open. "Well, he was tall. Pretty good body definition, but still kinda lean." Keith turned back to his ramen noodles as Shiro continued describing the man, nodding along and only half-listening. "Oh, and he had white hair." Keith dropped his fork into the pot and leapt back as small droplets of boiling water hit his hand. Shiro continued, not noticing Keith's reaction. "It was pretty long too, past his shoulders. It was kinda a weird style, but he pulled it off. And his name was kinda weird, what was it? L-Lo, Lo-something—"

"Lotor?" Keith asked, with a sense of dread.

"Yeah! That was it. Lotor." Shiro's eyebrows furrowed. "How do you know Lotor?"

"Oh my god," Keith said, ignoring the question. "No, no, no._ Shit._ I have to call Lance."

"What? Why do you have to call Lance?" Shiro asked, but Keith was already in the living room, searching for his phone. He found it and dialed up Lance. He tapped his foot while waiting for Lance to pick up, while Shiro trailed into the living room after him.

"Lance? Lance," Keith said, as soon as he picked up. "You're not gonna believe this."

_"What? What happened?"_ Shiro could through the line.

"Lotor. That's what happened."

_"Shit, don't tell me he found our coffee shop again."_

"He didn't. He hit on Shiro at the gym."

_"What?!"_

Keith paced back into the kitchen. "Oh my god, my gym!" he suddenly exclaimed. "Lotor was at my gym! Shit! I can't go there anymore."

_"No, not your gym, you love that gym,"_ Lance said consolingly.

"It's the perfect gym. It's the perfect distance from the apartment and the university, it's not too expensive, it's never too busy, it's always clean, they take good care of their equipment, and now I can never go there again," Keith lamented, leaning his forehead down to the counter.

"Who's Lotor?" Shiro asked from behind.

Keith turned to face him. "My ex-boyfriend."

"You're ex-boyfriend hit on me?" he asked, looking less pleased about the encounter.

"And Lance's ex-boyfriend."

"He hit on Lance's ex-boyfriend?"

"No, he _is _Lance's ex-boyfriend."

"You both dated Lotor?"

"And Allura."

"Allura?"

"Yes, we all three dated Lotor, Allura being the most recent."

Shiro was silent for a minute before adopting a haunted look on his face.

"What?" Keith asked.

Shiro looked up at him. "Thank god I'm dating Adam or I might've said yes."

They both shivered at the thought.

"_Wait, Keith, was he there to work out or was he just checking out the gym?" _Keith startled, having forgotten that Lance was on the phone_. "'Cause if he was only checking out the gym, he might join a different gym and as long as he doesn't know you go there, you're safe."_

"Oh my god, you're right," Keith said into the phone, then directed at Shiro, "Was he there to work out?"

"Um, I don't think so, he was dressed in normal clothes."

"Did he seem to like the gym? Do you think he'll come back?"

Shiro scratched the back of his head. "Uh, maybe? I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention to that kind of thing."

"I need more than a maybe, Shiro!" Keith said intensely, but turned back to his phone without listening for an answer. "_Fuck,_ this is stressful. Why did he have to come back?"

* * *

"Lance, the most blessed thing happened to me today and I had to tell you right away."

_"What?"_

"I saw Lotor today."

"_What?! Since when is that a good thing?"_

"Let me finish. I briefly stopped by the gym closer to our old coffee shop, just scouting out my options, and I saw Lotor signing up for a gym membership."

"You're gym is safe!"

"My gym is safe."

* * *

Note: Thanks for reading, comments keep me alive :)

I think this was all the inspiration I had for this verse, but my inspiration is random and fickle so who knows.


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